I have come to a knowing that I will never be able to know who I am, because I am always changing.  I’ll admit, the search for my identity, soul and corporeal, was at the core of my life changing experiences.  “Who am I?” is a question I’ve concerned myself with far too much and for far too long.  That question poses a fundamental paradox.  To know oneself, one must have perspective.  In order to have perspective, there must be at least one point of reference.  So, to answer that question, one must move away from oneself to understand.

Perhaps this is the nature of Jung’s labyrinth into the soul, the “actualization” process.  In order to know oneself, you must move away from yourself.  I found myself by exploring and discovering who I am not.  I journeyed down many spirals, some leading me more astray than others.  But somehow, somewhere, I knew where I traveled farthest from my core, and also knew how to bring myself back.  I believe this is the shaman’s way.  It is my way.  It has always been my way.  It is a dangerous way, and I would not encourage you to try it, unless it is also your calling.

I am a process.  I am changing.  I am discovering truths about myself that I set in place many lifetimes ago.  All the strange experiences from my childhood have been connected, contextualized, understood.  I have recognized who I am in the eyes of those around me.  “I see you,” they say.  And I see them.  For, they are me and I am them.  I ask: who do you see?

Self-awareness at its core, is the awareness of the ALL.  I am ALL.  All, and everything.  We are one.  We are infinite.  We are eternal.  These are not just words.  They are the essence of truth.  I have transcended the need to be, because I have learned that I AM.  What comes out in this moment is what is meant to come out in this moment.  I am done trying to explain, to share, to relate.  I am myself, and these are my words.  My voice.  Perhaps it is channeled.  A little bit here, a little bit there, from this guide, or that angel.  But at the core it is love, joy, truth, light, delight in life.  Nothing else matters.  So I will not inhibit the flow, nor will I question.  Those of you who will read this, understand.  There is no mystery anymore.  We laugh, we smile, and we love.  We see it, we feel it.  We are all One. We are all connected.  We have all chosen to be here.

We are the scattered pieces of the puzzle linking ourselves back together.  Each one exhibits a different shape and coloration, no two are alike, and when we all find our place, what does the image behold?  Ah, now that’s an interesting question.  It will be whatever everyone decides their own little piece will be, because within you are the pieces to your puzzle.


For me, my puzzle seems to be expanding.  As soon as I think I have it all, the whole picture, I find deeper layers to penetrate, and greater vistas to expand toward.  This perhaps, is the meaning of life, which I would say is synonymous with evolution.  It is the spiral of life, uncoiling multi-dimensionally to exhibit an infinity of possibilities that are made real through belief and intention.

It all comes down to personal choice.  What kind of picture would you like to see?  In my world, I envision love, joy, abundance, pleasure, creativity, truth, individuality, acceptance.  Make your choice.  Then make it again, and again.  In every now-moment.  Choose how you want to experience your world.  How do you interact?  The power is inside you to SHIFT.  From stress and anxiety to light and love? Cowardice to courage?  Or some other oscillation?

We are always exactly where we are supposed to be and experiencing exactly what we are.  This is not determinism.  We have two things that give us immeasurable creative potential:  free will, and the power of interpretation.  Example:  the other night I got on the highway driving in the wrong direction, north instead of south. Instead of getting frustrated with  myself, I agreed that I manifested the situation for a positive reason.  Perhaps in doing so I avoided an accident.  No one will ever KNOW, but that’s just it!  You don’t need to know!  Just believe, and it is so.  In this now moment.  It is so.

Yes, there is a sort of fate, brought about by choices we make.  There is also the Law of Attraction, and a few other laws of the universe.  The golden rule is like the golden mean rectangle, or the Fibunacchi sequence.  Which direction are you headed in?  I always say, “as above, so below, as within, so with-out”

Think about it.

You will come to a fundamental understanding of the true nature of the Universe.  It is a holographic matrix that is perpetually willing itself into being, existence, and dissolution.  But, as Einstein stated, Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.  So we are all there is in everything.  Destined and predestined to be all, experienced through time, bubbles of consciousness rising and falling from the same universal cauldron of creation, which I call the sea of possibility.  But we are not by happenstance.  We have the power to design ourselves.